I thought through each and every word Laura sang. I thought about her description of how we pray and it's true...we pray for blessings, for God to give us stuff, prosperity, solutions, opportunities. We pray for health and safety of friends and family. like God is a genie granting wishes and when those wishes don't come true, we feel abandoned.
We prayed for Violet. We prayed for her health, for her spirit, that we adjust to the shift in parenting two children. After she was born, a million prayers were prayed for her life. God HEAL HER. He could have healed her. One wave of His hand and she could have breathed on her own. Her heart could have stabilized. The hole in her gut could have been sealed. So why did she die? Where are the blessings in her death?
My friend sent me these words in a text last night:
I love you and I'm so thankful for you and how you are letting God shape you during this horribly sad time. Violet's sweet and short life will not be in vain. She has already impacted so many, most importantly her mama. She loves you and knows you love her. She's perfectly happy and in the perfect presence of Jesus.
Do I think God let Violet die to refine me? No. I don't. Do I believe He is refining me? Yes.
Do I believe He is being glorified? Yes.