My dear friend Chalise sends me lullabies, songs, and Bible verses to help me sleep. They help. It comes back to the idea of standing firm and letting the "waves wash over me." It seems to be the only path through this grief. Only now it's abundantly clear that it is not me standing firmly (and it has never been) but it is me being carried and lifted up by the One who loves me most - the One who also carries my Sweet Violet.
My lullaby to you (from Chalise):
A Song of Ascents.
121 I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
4 Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord is your keeper;
the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
6 The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
8 The Lord will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.